Mon, July14th 2025

Today was quite good to be honest, on the slower side for sure. Kinda just hung out with the kitties while watching some Call Of Duty content. I need to hop on the DAW and record something heavy though, one more song and I got a new new EP for Beyond Deviation. Also, my old band Dragoncorpse is releasing some new stuff as well and i'm really interested in knowing how that sounds!

Later during the day I went to pickup my girl from work and then showed the spot where I almost hit that poor turtle homie from yesterday haha! I thought I'd finish Star Ocean this weekend but finishing Avatar kinda took a lot of energy from me. Next weekend then.

Today I felt like the old me somehow, the only issue that comes from that is how my brain kinda tries to tell me that my friends today, like new friends, aren't genuine. I hate when it does that but I feel used by some of 'em which sucks 'cause I like my friends.

Right now, it is 12:50am and I'm going to head to bed very soon as I got work tomorrow, hopefully I find joy in my job again because I won't lie to you guys, I don't know how long I can keep it going without doing something stupid, it's getting real heavy real quick.

On this I'm going to hop on my little mobile games that I've been grinding these days and slowly fall asleep hopefully.

today's first pic is my girl Tati just enjoying herself

Also my boys in Dragoncorpse are releasing some stuff

Sun, Jul 13th 2025

Man, today was something for sure. Felt like shit all day just to realize I didn't take my meds and I was wondering why my brain was telling me to off myself all day, jesus.

i woke at a pretty decent time and had some decent sleep for once which was nice of course. Spent some time in the garden, eating blueberries and strawberries I've been growing.

The weather was HOT today, like way too much. Went to the store, got some snacks and then cleaned my work car to then chill a bit watching my girl playing Kingdom Hearts. Now I gotta think about finishing Star Ocean but I also kinda started playing Monster Hunter Stories and so far so good. 

I wasn't very productive music wise today. I don't know I've been kinda feeling left out of a lot of stuff lately. I feel like a lot of my friends aren't actually my friends, they just stay near me to get something. Either music wisdom or tech savvy stuff. It's a little annoying to feel this way, I know they don't do it on purpose but still. 

Hopefully tomorrow is better, it's my last day off then it's back to work, so prepare youself, my blog will become much darker in the next few days. 

I am not too sure what is going on with me but yesterday for example I started hearing shit, no joke. Like people talking, it was super weird, hopefully my brain isn't going rogue on me. Also, I can't seem to talk about these things to anybody, it is so bizarre like, there's something preventing me from opening up, probably since nobody ever truly listened. They always get mad when I tell 'em how I feel. Opening up is so hard man, like, I wish I could tell my girl that she's simply the best and that she deserves everything but when I try, it just doesn't seem to work. Don't worry guys I am not in danger but gosh is my brain fried lately. 

Also, as always, pic of the day! And thank you to every reader I get, hopefully these are interesting to you guys.

Found this little guy trying to cross the road

Sat, Jul 12th 2025

Hooray! First day of having my own little website/space on the vast web!

It is something I've always wanted, I speak to myself too much and I think having a place to organize and share my ideas is the way to go! 

Today is my first day off this week, so me and the lady will probably go shopping a little bit, I also need to clean my work car ffs haha.

My goal is to finish Star Ocean: First Departure R and Avatar: Frontiers of Pandora this weekend to have some fresh reviews for y'all! 

I know I sound upbeat by reading this, but as you keep reading and keep up with my content you will realize very quickly how multifaced my personality really is.

I will update tonight when the day passes.

Im out and about right now with the lady and the bad thoughts are kicking in, it's something that's been part of my everyday life at this point. Being unable to do anything due to my brain telling me to do aweful things. Hopefully some of you will reconize themselves here, you are not alone.

My brain is a mess at the moment, I have too many thoughts kicking my ass at the same time, hopefully some alone time while my lady does the groceries might help me get back on track mentally.

After working in the website for about an hour, the brain seems to be back to normal and now I miss my lady, the groceries be taking forever it seems haha.

Damn, those last words feel like they were a while ago, my girl finally came back haha then we went straight back home. I got time to start working on a track for the new new Beyond Deviation, wrote it like I did back on White Noise, drums first. Excited to see how the riffs will sound while they're slapped on there.

Also, played a couple hours of Avatar:Frontiers of Pandora, I can tell that I'm approaching the end here. So far the experience has been amazing, i'm not a huge Ubisoft guy, so this game feels fresh to me. Can't wait to drop a review on it, tonight I will grind some more Star Ocean: First Departure R as I am almost done with it too haha!

Right now I just finished eyeing my little Nintendo Switch collection for my next adventure. I'm tempted to just say fuck it and buy Star Ocean: Second Story R or, I could also play a game I already own and have zero experience with which is Monster Hunter Stories 1&2 a chibi/cute Jrpg set in the world of the Monster Hunter series.

See y'all next time, also, a pic from today's adventure:

And another pic that is relevant today, me and the maker of the fanzine viande.liquide: